Hello Everyone!
I hope you were able to join us this past Sunday where we discussed Communication and Relationships. It was a great show and if you missed it you can download to hear and please listen in next week!
Also, I love feedback so please feel free to post your advice, comments, and concerns so we can discuss on upcoming shows. This week we have 2 questions so lets read and get your comments.
Dear Darling Nikki:
I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend (3 years) and we have a great relationship. He has adopted my children as his own and I’ve done the same with him. We are an ideal couple – we work toward the same goals and partner on everything. He meets all my needs, anything I want he gives me. He is a chef and is home most of the day while I work so when I get home the house is cleaned, kids doing homework and dinner is on the table. Many nights he will meet me with a glass of wine and top that off with a foot massage and a night of making love.
So, you are probably wondering, what’s the problem? Well, while he pleases me completely in every way I want, I cannot perform oral sex. I just can’t do it! The whole act of it bothers me – just thinking of it bothers me. I’ve never tried and he has asked me numerous times. He takes care of me orally but I can’t return the love in that manner. I can’t bring myself to go below. I don’t want to have this be a hindrance in our relationship what do you suggest I do to overcome this bedroom obstacle. I love him and want to please him but do I have to do this?
Orally Dysfunctional
New Jersey
Dear Orally Dysfunctional:
I will say that you should not take too much of a formal attitude toward what should be a spontaneous act with your partner. You might just be over thinking the whole process and working yourself up to a point where you feel you might not be good at it or not be able to please him. If you are new to the this act – which from your letter it seems you are – then start off slow and have him guide you with either his words or his moans. You do not need to become an expert overnight so soft strokes and kisses in sensitive areas are a good start. You don’t have to make this a “happy ending” orally but it could be a way for both of you to enjoy foreplay. Discover him in a new way, allow him to enjoy you in a new way and this will take both of you to new sexual heights. My advice in a nutshell: Loosen up and act more spontaneously in the bedroom I know this will have a positive effect for both of you to … especially for him!
******************************
Darling Nikki:
When do you think its time to become a couple of make it official?
Just Wondering
New Jersey
Dear Just Wondering:
Firstly, you should not totally stop dating once you meet a guy that you think is the right one for you right? We all do it, date other people, until we are sure that this is the person we want to be committed to. It’s been my experience that men generally lead the way in this romance area. He usually stops dating/sleeping with other people weeks before he even tells you. By the time he does tell you, recognize that he is stating that he is interested in you…and only you. When you get introduced to people, if he isn’t ready for couple hood he will keep this boundary. He will introduce you as a friend or my date or someone he is just seeing versus My Girl. Once he says my girl, my boo, my honey…MY anything, then take this as another flag towards the two of you being a couple. When he brings you to meet his friends … you know its serious and the same with us. He’s gotta pass the girlfriend check. If he has introduced you to relatives then good chances are… you are a couple. Even if it’s just on the phone this should be considered a milepost. If most of these are yes, then chances are you have already become a couple. When you go from just dating to serious dating, it isn’t a sudden process. It’s a gradual transformation where you begin consistently putting each other first, where you start running plans by each other, and where you spend a lot of free time together. Eventually, your lives become as one and you are now official.
Until Next Time…
Think Naughty Thoughts,
Nikki
Sex Tip: Good Head
Good Head Gel
This gel used on him gives a nice fruity taste while you are satisfying him. The plus it numbs the back of your throat so it prevents the gag reflex and allows you to give Good Head!
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