Hello Readers!
I am presently reading “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man” by Steve Harvey. While still early on in the book I’m not too impressed with the information Steve thinks he is imparting to us women. I have had a few conversations with men about the book and they have very strong opinions about what Steve has written. In the coming weeks I will ask questions regarding this book and look forward to your feedback and comments. I would also like to plan a small gathering or focus group to discuss some of the ideas from the book, so, if you are interested please respond to my email address at Romancepotions4u@aol.com.
Also, I am always here to answer your love questions or just read a good story. I also want to hear your opinions on the stories that are posted. Don’t be shy…let’s discuss.
I hope you enjoy this weeks column and please tell your friends to visit the site.
Nikki
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Darling Nikki!
I have been in a relationship with a married man for the past year. I do everything for him… he comes to my house every night for dinner, we make love and he goes home to his wife. I shop for clothes for him I cater to him I do everything he wants and asks. He recently gave me his grandmother’s wedding band to wear and asked me to never take it off. He said if I do it will show him that I do not love him. I never take the ring off and I do love him with all my heart. I just don’t understand why he will not leave his wife and just be with me. He says he loves me and that I make him happy but I can’t get him to move in with me. What should I do to make him leave her so we can be happy together all the time?
Want to be Wifey! Long Island
Dear “Want to be Wifey”!
What the hell! The writing is on the wall and you just aren’t seeing it, reading it or getting the message. You are no more than a little kitty kat on the side; no more – no less. You are foolish to think you can make him leave his wife by taking care of him with dinners, sex and lavishing him with gifts. By the way, you never mentioned what he does for you … only what you do for him. Are you that desperate? Yes! I am upset! He is using you for you food, sex and gifts. He has the best of both worlds – his wife and you.
Stop the madness and let this mess go, I can’t even call it an affair! Take time for yourself and search your mind, heart and soul, figure out what you need to make yourself happy. Look for your self esteem, find your courage, see your strength and understand that this loser is not doing anything for you and you are worth more than what he is offering.
Please take this advise WTBW…this is headed nowhere and I can promise you at the end of the day you will find yourself alone and crying. He is not leaving his wife!
5 Signs He Won’t Leave His Wife
Sign #1 Involved for More Than A Year
You’re in an affair for more than a year and he still can’t make the break from his wife. It’s very likely he’s not leaving her.
Sign #2 The Money
“I just need to make sure I can move money so when I leave her she won’t get any”. WTH! Another lame excuse…Remember you also have some assets to bring to the relationship.
Sign #3 The Kids need to get a little older
Why? How old do the kids need to be? All kids grieve when parents split no matter what age.
Sign #4 He spends more nights away from you
Sign #5 He doesn’t respond to you anymore
And finally remember if you are going through this now, it could happen to you later. Some people don’t change and you would hate to be wifey with him cheating on you. Good to find out now than be sitting home with Ice cream and tissues crying your eyes out.
Until Next Time…Think Naughty Thoughts.
Nikki
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3 comments:
Good advice. Unfortunately, this scenario has been played over again and again and usually the ending is usually the same; the man staying with his wife. Sometimes they do leave to be with the mistress, but if he's still home there's a reason he's still there and not with her! And who would even trust a man whose entire relationship is a lie with you because he's married with a family? I know it's slim pickings out there but get it together ladies.
I am totally upset with LI, too. This man is definitely taking advantage of you and your kindness or is it naivety?!?! You obviously have not heard of the 80/20 rule…you are the 20% of what his wife does not do. Trust and believe he’s not leaving his wife. If he was, he would have already. And not for nothing, have you not realized at this age that the way you meet a man is the way you lose a man. So, why would you want him anyway? And say he does leave her down the road if you hold on that long…you can not honestly expect him to have any respect for you, especially if you have been putting yourself 2nd for the past 365 days. PLEASE get some self-respect, self-love, self-esteem, and self-motivation to find a man that truly respects you, cherishes you, and honors you. His grandmother's ring is just a leash to keep you right where you are...vulnerable and not in the arms of your true soul mate.
I know deep down this woman feels
she deserves better!
I'm tired of women settling just
to have a warm body in the bed next to them.
Or in her case sporadic booty calls with a "play" ring to enforce it.
She is wasting time and energy on a relationship that will neva be!
I hope she gets some sense and
snaps out of it.
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